It's been about three years now after my heart was broken to pieces. Dramatic huh? Well, it sure felt like it. I fell for my very awesome best friend, which I know is like so typical high school love story, cinta monyet shit. The days when my best friend and I weren't talking seem to pass by so slowly. Like searching for a needle in a hay stack. I kinda told him I liked him and everything went downhill from there. Doesn't that sucks? Well, a year after that tragic accident, he finally talked to me about it. Alhamdulillah :') I knew my best friend will never let me down. I had so much faith in him and I still do. Recently I started to realize that I might just love him more than I should as a best friend. It hurts to see the guy you love falling in love for another girl and you just have to suck it up and be there for him because that is what friends do for each other. He got hooked up with a girl from his University recently and said it was just an "open relationship". Yea. Open or closed it is still a RELATIONSHIP, may I remind you. But as usual I am trying my best to support him. The only difference is, this time I got really bothered. I was really sad and it showed especially to my sista forever hahaha :') She never fails to see whats going on with me. Yea it bothered me. When I was right about to tell him of how much I love him he pulls the trigger and tells me he is in an open relationship. IT HURTS!!!! To make matters worst, my periods is like whack. It was supposed to be here two weeks ago and its still not here. Everyone knows that the pre period stage is one of the most fragile stage of a womens emotional stability. I hate the fact that he says things that make me feel that he too feels the same way for me. Well, DREAM ON! Why would he ever like me back? He didnt three years ago and he wouldnt now. He told me a few days before he got together with the girl that he wants to tell me a secret. A secret only he and I will know. A secret about us as he described it. I've been wondering all this while on what could it be. I imagine every single possible possibility that is going to happen so then if he does something that may hurt me emotionally I'll be ready. I love him. I hate to say this but I have always loved him. My sista forever said this to me "You are now stuck in between being a dude and being a lady". I have always been the dude to him and I have always wanted him to see the lady in me. Talking to him makes my day. I can just talk for hours without realizing it. But now that he has a girl friend no matter what the status is, I will have to back off. I told him we shouldnt be talking like this anymore and I should stop talking to him now that he has a girlfriend but he said he does not want to stop our conversations. Im screwed for life. Oh loyal heart of mine, why are you so loyal to that guy? Hmmm. As long as he is happy and I am so not kidding. Get ready for another season of pain and agony all raped up in ribbons :')
<2 sloth
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