I Really Miss You.

because I do.

I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss telling you stuff. I miss you telling me stuff. I miss your family. I miss your driveway. I miss your weird hairstyles. I miss your lame ass jokes. I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss arguing with you. I miss driving around with you. I miss staring at you when your not looking. I miss your voice. I miss your smell. I miss your laugh. I MISS YOU.

<2 sloth

People I Love Does Not Know That I Do.

because sometimes we forget to remind the people we love that we love them.

I have so much to say to a handful of people. Family and friends. I really have so much to say to every one of them but I just can't seem to find a way to. Saying I love them without making them think that I'm a sick emo bastard. Hahahahaha :) I will make it one of my priority to write a post for every single person that I love in my blog. Even though I know that they won't get to read it but writing it all down will at least make me feel better. If I disappear, I still think about everyone. I still care. Im just not physically there to justify that fact.

<2 sloth

Day 3 - Eight ways to win your heart.

because I am not quite sure myself. Hahaha

1. Be loyal.
2. Be honest.
3. Be understanding.
4. Respect people.
5. Appreciate.
6. Make me feel safe and protected.
7. Take me as I am.
8. Manners.

When you do something sincerely for someone you love, trying to win their heart wont be on your mind. I'm just saying.

<2 sloth

Questions I Need No Answers To.

because I know it does not matter.

I have questions. Lots of them to be honest. Like "Why did you do that to me? Why did you say it if you dont mean it? Did you even mean it? Was I just someone you want to fool around with?". So many questions I have been keeping in instead of screaming it out for an answer. But then again, I know. Whatever the answer is, it wont really change a thing would it? You do not need to answer my questions which is left for me to keep hiding. You do not need to explain your actions to me. All you need to do is be here. Be my best friend. Cause right now, that is all I want and need. You woke me up. You made me realize that there are more important matters to attend to. I would love to know who is my soulmate now but maybe right now is just not the time. I am just gonna concentrate on being a better person and try my best to grow up into a lady.

<2 sloth

Basketball.

because I had fun playing basketball.

Cam and Ema came to my house on a lovely Saturday morning to play basketball. They totally cheered me up :') I am so glad I have them in my life. I would never trade them for any other. People like Cam and Ema are hard to find. An amazing fact about ema is that she always and I mean ALWAYS calls me when Im sad. Cam, even though we dont talk much or even at all when we are in college but when we meet up, it feels like we never ever did stop talking. Im so blessed to have them in my life. Alhamdulillah :')

<2 sloth

Staring at the ceilling.

because I am.


Just lying down on the floor of my living room staring up. Trying to be numb.


<2 sloth

Tired.

because I am.

Right now I am so emotionally tired. I want to write it all down so in the future, when I read my past post it will make me smile and laugh which right now seems quite impossible for me to do. I am so tired. So tired to even start to explain what happened, why, when, how, why. Well, its not like I have the answer to all of those questions but you get what I mean when I say what happened. All I want to do right now is sleep until this year is over. Goodnight.

<2 sloth

Deepavali.

because this year it kinda felt like it.

I had a nice day today. Alhamdulillah :) Kak Amy and Abu came and brought me to Puan Devasara's house where I got to meet her and also Puan Shima. Gosh! They made me miss school so much. Had a nice conversation with my seniors aka Kak Amy's friends. They are really nice. Got to eat all the nice Indian food. So festive! Hahahaha :) Then we went to Abu's cousins' house and spend some time with them and the cats before Kak Amy and I took off to have our long postponed shopping spree which totally got ruined by the massive amount of people who wanted to go to sunway so we decided to go to subang parade instead. Had tea time and  started to look for stuffs. Not really a successful shopping spree but we did shop. A bit that is :) On the way to our shopping destinations, Kak Amy told me she dreamt that I die 3 days ago. SERIOUSLY? 3 days ago? :'( Now that is so gonna bother me. What is the meaning behind that dream? Why did I die? Kak Amy says that mean there are gonna be some good changes in my life. Why I hope so. Such a disturbing dream -_-* The whole time Kak Amy and I were together, I wanted to tell her about what happened so bad. Right before we went to get Abu again, when we were almost there, I spilled. Everything. About why I deactivated my facebook and twitter again and what was the reason behind it. She noticed :') She was just waiting for me to say something. It made me feel A LITTLE and I repeat A LITTLE better. Sometimes I wonder, does he know? Does he know how much he means to me? Some questions are just impossible to answer with words. Overall, today is Okay.

<2 sloth

Gonna Have A Good Time.

because I'm gonna go out with Kak Amy.

I am so excited to go out today. Just Kak Amy and I. I want to put the world on hold today.

<2 sloth

I'm Tired Of Technology.

because I am.

I just want to off my phone and be unreachable.

<2 sloth

Day 2 - Nine things about yourself.

because you may not know this.

1. I have always feared the darkness. 
2. If something is bothering me, I'll either be sleeping a lot or not be able to sleep at all.
3. I love doing anything DIY. 
4. I don't get sick often but when I do, it takes quite some time for me to recover.
5. I like even numbers. I always think that even numbers deserve a partner.
6. I can talk about anything but when it comes to my feelings its really hard. 
7. I am not a techno geek. I dont really care about that shit.
8. I like randomly messaging my closest friends at odd hours of the day about anything that comes to mind.
9. I'm usually really quite when I am angry/sad/upset/thinking.

<2 sloth

Can't Let Go by Landon Pigg.

because I will forever feel this way I guess.

Well, you're the closest thing I haveTo bring up in a conversationAbout a love that didn't lastBut I could never call you mine

'Cause I could never call myself yoursAnd if we were really meant to beWell, then we justify destinyIt's not that our love died, just never really bloomed

No, I can't let go , no, I can't let go of youYou're holding me back without even trying toI can't let go, I can't move on from the pastWithout lifting a finger you're holding me back

And then we saw our paths divergeAnd I guess I felt okay about itUntil you got with another manAnd then I couldn't understand why it bothered me so

How we didn't dieWe just never had a chance to grow

I can't let go, no, I can' let go of youYou're holding me back without even trying toI can't let go, I can't move on from the past.Without lifting a finger you're holding me back

And it might not make much sense to you or any of my friendsThough somehow still you affect the things I doAnd you can't lose what you never had, I don't understand why I feel sadEvery time I see you out with someone new

I can't let go, no, I can't let goNo, I can't let go of you

I can't let go, no, I can't let go of youYou're holding me back without even trying toI can't let go, I can't move on from the pastWithout lifting a finger you're holding me back

I can't let go, no, I can't let go of youYou're holding me back without even trying toI can't let go, I can't move on from the past

<2 sloth

A Song I've Been Singing Ever Since I Could Remember.

because the lyrics are just so true.

I cant make you love me if you don't.

<2 sloth

I Want To Fly Off.

because I feel like nobody cares right now.

You know what? My problem has always been the fact that I care too much. Being surrounded by people that do not care when you do takes up a lot of my energy. Sometimes, especially times like this I just want to be away. Somewhere nobody knows me. Somewhere where people really dont care about me. I want to just be invisible.

<2 sloth

What Is Wrong With Me?

because I dont know.

Its almost 4am now and I'm in my room. I cant stop crying.

<2 sloth

Day 1 -Ten things you wanna say to ten different people.

because this 10 people means more to me than words can ever describe.

1. M * I love you so much. I can never repay what you've done for me but I am willing to try. I want to be a great person, one that you can always depend on and trust. I have more failures than successes in my life but you are always there for me no matter what and I am so grateful for that. Thank you so much for being the best support on earth and for always supporting me through thick and thin. No matter what, please know that you have me to protect you. I'll drop everything to make you happy. And I am so sorry for dissapointing you. I know I have and it pains me to admit that I did. I will try harder to become someone you can be proud of. Last but not least, dont worry to much, everything is gonna be alright in the end. InsyaAllah (:
2. P * You have thought me so much and thanks to you I am quite a positive person, not forgetting logical. I love you. You are the best role model ever. Even though you are not around all the time, but when you are around, you make every second counts and you tough us to love whole-heartedly. I have always felt that I was the son of the family and thank you for making me see that I am your daughter and not your son and that you love me just the way I am. Thank you for making sure that all of us grow up into decent people, I hope Im not too much of a dissapointment. Thank you for tolerating my random cries at night while you watch tv and thank you for making me feel safe and protected like no one can ever hurt me. I want to spend more time with you and I want to give you what you want instead of you giving me what I want. Thank you for teaching the beauty in life, in music. Thank you for always being there for me.
3. Y * We've known each other for quite some time now and you came into my life when it seems like everyone was getting the hell out. I am so grateful to have been blessed to know such a wonderful person that can relate to how I feel. I praise Allah for bringing you into my life and making it easier to go through my days here in this hell hole. Hahahaha. Thank you for tolerating my good/bad/crazy/emotional/psychopathic/mad/evil/bitchy behavior. Thank you for being the greatest sista forever that anyone could ever have. Even though we are not bound by blood but to me you are my family and you are always welcome into my home. I love our duets and our random car rides to the airport. I dont know what I'll do if I havent meet you. Thank you for supporting me and thank you for encouraging me to follow my heart. Love you !!! :3
4. R * Its funny how we are so close now. I never thought that we would ever even be friends. Hahahaha.  Thank you for being a very awesome best friend and listening to me when I needed someone to talk to. I am happy that you came into my life. Im truely sorry for making you mad once upon a time (still dont know what I did wrong but it must have been really bad for you to be really mad like that). Thank you for being there for me and you should know that I'll be there for you too. I am happy that you found someone who makes you smile (God bless her). I WANT TO BE THE FLOWER GIRL AT YOUR WEDDING (tolong la.I'll be an awesome bunga tabur-er) Hahahaha. I'll be supportive in whatever you do, just know that whatever you do, do it because you want to and because it makes you happy. I would like you to know that you are like a brother I never had. Thank you for everything my bestfriend.
5. N * I'm so happy that we are best friends. You are the best classmate a girl could ever ask for. We had so much fun its ridiculous. Please know that you are beautiful. I've never meet anyone so quirky and amazing like you before. You make people happy. You make people feel comfortable. You make me feel happy and comfortable. Thank you for remembering me when everyone did not. I just love you and I dont say this as often as I should so yeah hahaha. :)
6. Y * No one know me better than you. You've known me ever since we were babies and I am so glad that we are still great together even though there were hard times when I couldn't talk to you. Even after so long of not talking, when we do it feels like we never did stop talking to each other. Blood is thicker than water. You know everything that has happen to me. You tell me the brutal truth when everyone else try to sugar coat things. You are the toughest young lady I have ever known. I love the way you dont let bullshit happen to you. I really want you to know that I am here. Just a call away. Love you baby c. :D
7. L * We dont talk much. But I hope you know that I do care. Your busy and so am I. But when I dont know how to say how I feel you look at me and read into my soul like I am an open book. It feels great to know that you can still do that after so many years. We dont share our feelings much but when we do it means we mean it and I love the fact that when I say things that dont make sense you understand. Sorry for all the time I've been missing. I wish we were neighbors (remember we used to dream that?). I pray that you get what you want in life, you deserve it after all your hardwork. Please take care of yourself kay, love you! <3
8. KA * I miss you. I miss talking before sleeping about our day. I want you back. The old you. The you that used to care about my stupid little love stories. I love you so much and I want to see you happy but nowadays I get to catch that sad look in your eyes. You switch it off pretty quick but you cant fool me. I know. I know you. I am always here for you. Please listen to your heart. Sometimes you feel alone but dont ever forget that I am here, as annoying as ever, but still here. I love you and dont you ever dare forget that!
9. R * You are one of my college friends that I can see still being in my life when we start working and go on our own paths. You are one amazing guy. A true gentlemen. A leader. A good friend. Thank you for caring when everyone else didnt. You will make one heck of an awesome lawyer/father/grandfather/husband/meercat/bimbo. Hahahahaha. Sorry I stressed you out with my stories, I didnt mean to stress you out. Hahahahaha. Thank you for going to the hospital with yen and I. You out of all the people deserves to be happy!!!!!!! (: I'll never forget you.
10. A * Hey there. We've been through so much together. Whenever I look back at the life I lived, you are always there in the picture. We've been through it all. You are one of the most important person in my life. I thank Allah everyday, for blessing me with such an amazing guy in my life, the most loving best friend ever. We had our ups and down and you sticked through it and remain understanding. I am so grateful. I dont ever want to hurt you or see you get hurt. I want you to have what you want. I want you to be happy. I want to see you smile. I want you to be the person you want to be. I want you to live out your dream. I want what you want. I miss you so much. Im mad at myself for the times where I was mean. I am so sorry for everything. I am sorry for making you mad, upset, dissapointed, sad, unhappy. I'll do anything for you. You should know that. I am and always will be here for you, for your family. I don't think I will ever get over you and I am fine with that. Please know that you can tell me anything and everything. Even if it hurts me, I will still be there for you, I will be braver. Whatever thats bothering you, you can tell me, I'll share your burden. I just want whats best for you. I am sorry for getting too emotional sometimes. I will try my best to control myself. I dont want to make you upset. You make me happy. You make me blush. I am your best friend and you are mine. You are family and whenever you are around I feel safe and protected. I love you.

<2 sloth

Just Felt Like Doing This.

because I feel like writing something down but I dont know what exactly.

• Day 1 -Ten things you wanna say to ten different people.
• Day 2 - Nine things about yourself.
• Day 3 - Eight ways to win your heart.
• Day 4 - Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
• Day 5 - Six things you wish you'd never done.
• Day 6 - Five people who mean a lot.
• Day 7 - Four turn offs.
• Day 8 - Three turn ons.
• Day 9 - Two smiley that describe your life right now.
• Day 10 - One confession.

<2 sloth

I Knew It.

because I had a feeling something was up.

For a few days now I had this irritating feeling that something was wrong so then I called up Autumn. I asked him what is it that you are not telling me and I told him straight up that he can tell me anything in the world. I was preparing myself for the worst. For a broken heart maybe. Then he told me that he has been working out im his room for quite some time now and a few days back he sprain his left thigh. MY HEART STOPPED! Like dude! Its not funny. I dont want you to be getting hurt. Small injuries are funny when they are small but if it gets worst, oh shit. I love you too much to see you get hurt. Please take care of yourself. TELL ME ANYTHING. I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT. EVEN IF YOU BREAK MY HEART. EVEN IF WE ARE APART. I WILL BE HERE.

<2 sloth

A Friend Of A Friend.

because I do care.

Well I have friends who have friends other than the friends that I am friends with. That is for sure. The thing is I know them, by name and by looks but I've never meet or talk to them. To bee honest, I envy my friends for having such awesome friends and I know it will be great if I get to just chill with them someday but I dont want them to think that I am this psychotic bitch. Its not that I care of what people think of me. Trust me I dont but then sometimes there are just boundries that are made that are meant to be obeyed. I want to know you better and I hope you dont think I am some snobbish bitch cause I am not. I am quite shy and anti-social eventhough everyone who knows me doubt that. But I seriously am. I hope someday somehow you will know that I too am really interested to know you better, its just that I dont know how or when to start.

<2 sloth

I Dont Want To Let You Sleep.

because I'll never know what it'll be like the next time we talk.

Yup. Change is something that has been going on for years now. That doesnt mean I am not scared. I dont want to be talking to someone who doesnt want to talk to me the next time I calll. I think this time for real. I am scared. So scared that just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I dont mind if your feelings for me change. I seriously dont. I just want us to never change. When I say us I mean our friendship. I am scared of losing you. I am scared that the past will repeat itself. I AM SCARED :'( You mean a lot to me and I dont think anyone but God knows exactly how much. I love you.

<2 sloth

Jason Mraz.

because we were in the car and his song came up.

That day, when we were in the car, just the two of us, do you remember Jason Mraz's song came up. Out of all the songs, the song Lucky came on the radio and being me, I changed the song :'(  I cant lose my cool when you're not losing yours. Hahahaha. My bloody ego sucks!!

<2 sloth

Kay.

because this is what I think of it.

I love using the word Kay instead of okay but I love it more when you use the word Kay to me :) And thats about it. Hahaha :)

<2 sloth

In The Car.

because I am in the car.

Today is the first time I'm blogging in the car. Hahaha :) My parents, sister and I are on the way to Kuantan right now to our kampung for raya. My elder sister is already there. I can't wait to see her! :) This year we are going to raya in Kuantan. To be honest I still don't have the raya mood :( I don't know why. This is sad. But I know I'm going to be happy when I meet my cousins back in Kuantan. I kinda miss them. To top it all off my best friend is going to celebrate raya in Kuantan too! Yeay! :) Hahaha. It's now 1851. I guess we are going to have our Iftar on the road. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for the food that we have in the car :) It was papa's idea to go get some food at the bazaar Ramadhan. It was fun picking the food I wanted with papa and my sister. Hahahaha (: I'm hungry. Kbye.

<2 sloth

Chill.

because I should do this more.

I should chill. Make the best of what I've got. Hahahaha. Why am I so tense. What ever happens it is God's will so I have to accept that. POSITIVITY~! :)

<2 sloth

Broken Hearted Girl by Beyonce.

because I can totally relate to this song right now.                                                                                                                                 


You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love enough to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/beyonce-lyrics/broken,,hearted-girl-lyrics.html ]
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

<2 sloth

Just Dont Cross The Line.

because I have feelings too.

I am slowly getting hurt more and more. You are really public with girls huh? Dont you see me standing here all this while? I am patient. Maybe too patient. I am so scared. I never want to prove myself wrong cause right now my heart is being tested. My loyalty towards you is being tested. It seem so much easier if I just give up. So so so much easier. You dont see me breaking down. You dont see me crying. YOU DONT! It would really suck if when I start acting like you are now you'd stop doing what you're doing because by then the tables will be turned and I have no idea how much or how long would you be patient to wait for me. Would you wait? I'll never know.

<2 sloth

Hmmm.

because I just want to sit hear in peace.

I'm sitting all alone outside my house with my guitar beside me, the cold night air blow my hair, strokes my soul, keeping me calm, while the thunder in the sky, makes me stay, just to see the first raindrop fall. I love this feeling. Me. Alone. At peace with the world.

<2 sloth

Why Do I Even Bother?

because everytime I do I get disappointed.

I believe that sometimes people can change and people can start appreciating what they have but sadly they dont. It feels so good to be unappriciated. Guees Im better off alone.

<2 sloth

What Am I To Do?

because right now I dont know what to do.

Should I tell him how I feel? Should I just ignore this nagging feeling and chill? What is the right thing to do? I know that whatever I do it is going to hurt just as much. What am I to do when I miss you so but I cant do anything about it? I am just going to go see him when he comes back and that will be it for now. For now I have decided to go see him. The rest will be up to God's will. At least no matter what I know I have fun just being with him even if it is for awhile. FOREVER ALONE :)

<2 sloth

Hurt.

because sometimes you are just mean.

I keep doing this to myself and everytime I do, it hurts just as much. I guess I have always been the one on the giving end of unrequited love. It takes longer for someone to get over unrequited love then a real break-up. I've been trying to get over this unrequited love for 3 years now and it still isnt working. This sucks. If only you were reading this would you understand? Will this matter a year from now? Do you even care? It takes only one bad phone call to turn everything south. It still hurts when you talk to me with that tone of voice. I am going to retrieve to my cave for now until this wounds are healed. I wish you would just stop doing this to me and I would stop doing this to myself. Maybe one day when I am over you I'll let you read this just for fun :) Hahahaha Positivity~~~ weowewoewoewoweowoeowoweowoeowowoeowo.

<2 sloth

Curious.

because I dont get it.
                       

"friends are forever 
brothers are always together
bestfriends are with each other"

Anyone care to explain the last line?

<2 sloth

10 Things I Hate About You.

because I cant find any flaws in you actually.

Let me list down 10 things I hate about you.

1. You make me happy and sad at the same time.
2. I trust you.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

I cant come up with much, but when I figure out that is if there is any, I'll list them down for you. For now, Im still thinking.

<2 sloth

It Hurts.

because I realize that I am not over you.

It's been about three years now after my heart was broken to pieces. Dramatic huh? Well, it sure felt like it. I fell for my very awesome best friend, which I know is like so typical high school love story, cinta monyet shit. The days when my best friend and I weren't talking seem to pass by so slowly. Like searching for a needle in a hay stack. I kinda told him I liked him and everything went downhill from there. Doesn't that sucks? Well, a year after that tragic accident, he finally talked to me about it. Alhamdulillah :') I knew my best friend will never let me down. I had so much faith in him and I still do. Recently I started to realize that I might just love him more than I should as a best friend. It hurts to see the guy you love falling in love for another girl and you just have to suck it up and be there for him because that is what friends do for each other. He got hooked up with a girl from his University recently and said it was just an "open relationship". Yea. Open or closed it is still a RELATIONSHIP, may I remind you. But as usual I am trying my best to support him. The only difference is, this time I got really bothered. I was really sad and it showed especially to my sista forever hahaha :') She never fails to see whats going on with me. Yea it bothered me. When I was right about to tell him of how much I love him he pulls the trigger and tells me he is in an open relationship. IT HURTS!!!! To make matters worst, my periods is like whack. It was supposed to be here two weeks ago and its still not here. Everyone knows that the pre period stage is one of the most fragile stage of a womens emotional stability. I hate the fact that he says things that make me feel that he too feels the same way for me. Well, DREAM ON! Why would he ever like me back? He didnt three years ago and he wouldnt now. He told me a few days before he got together with the girl that he wants to tell me a secret. A secret only he and I will know. A secret about us as he described it. I've been wondering all this while on what could it be. I imagine every single possible possibility that is going to happen so then if he does something that may hurt me emotionally I'll be ready. I love him. I hate to say this but I have always loved him. My sista forever said this to me "You are now stuck in between being a dude and being a lady". I have always been the dude to him and I have always wanted him to see the lady in me. Talking to him makes my day. I can just talk for hours without realizing it. But now that he has a girl friend no matter what the status is, I will have to back off.  I told him we shouldnt be talking like this anymore and I should stop talking to him now that he has a girlfriend but he said he does not want to stop our conversations. Im screwed for life. Oh loyal heart of mine, why are you so loyal to that guy? Hmmm. As long as he is happy and I am so not kidding. Get ready for another season of pain and agony all raped up in ribbons :')

<2 sloth

I Am Back.

because I miss blogging :)

Its been awhile since I posted anything. A lot has been happening. Good, bad and everything in between :) I am going to spare you guys the details cause it is totally water under the bridge for me to even type it out anymore. Lets just say I grew a lot in this past few weeks.

<2 sloth

I Don't Feel Like Blogging Right Now.

because I am too tired.

I wish I could copy paste my brain and what I want to say so that I wont have to type it out now. I want to write everything down but my energy has been used up today. It was worth it though.

<2 sloth

We Won The Drama Competition.

because we totally did.

As promised, I will tell you guys more about the drama competition that we won. It was so surreal for me. The day of the drama competition my friends and I were all over being so busy with all the preparations. Everyone was at the top of their game. We woke up early as early as we could. Some of us did the drama board, some of us when to the doctors, some of us did the props and all of us was as happy and hyped up about the night we were all waiting for. Everyone went back to their respective homes and got ready and dressed up for the night. I wore something I wont usually wear but I don't know what made me wore what I wore. Scratch that. That is not important. Well, everyone was looking so fly and we did what we have to. Our drama team performed spectacularly! :) I am so proud of everyone of them. After all the drama performances, everyone, including myself had to dance to a BSB song! LIKE O.M.G! Dancing in front of a crowd. It has been 10 years since I did that. I was all for looking like an idiot. Nothing could stop me. Hahahahahahahahahahaha :) *dies* After they announced that our team won, everyone celebrated and I got the most unexpected and amazing hug from you guys shall never know who. Hahahaha :) I think my face was so red that it was obvious to everyone that something happen. Thank god for the commotion, no one bothered asking what the heck happen. I would love to write more on that particular night but if I were to write everything down in detail, you guys might just give up reading this post half way.

<2 sloth

It's Been Awhile.

because I haven't been blogging as often as I'd like too.

A lot has been going on since the last time I wrote on this blog. It has been a roller coaster ride but a hell of a good one. I am currently busy with my assignments and projects that are due very soon. There is going to be a water balloon carnival soon where by all my friends and anyone who are interested will be welcome to play with water balloon with a price that is, all for charity though :) Recently, there is this guy who keeps hitting on me. I have no idea why he does but I am really confused :| Not long ago, he made me pissed because I found out that he has a girlfriend. How dare he hit on me when he has a girlfriend! I dont give a damn if the relationship is not working or you are not happy. DO NOT DRAG ME INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS PROBLEM !! Well, now I am still confuse cause he is obviously not giving up even though I'm not talking to him. Let me teel you about the other day. I love leaving notes for people in my lecture hall just for fun and he read it after I left. I wrote there that "Seasons may come and go, but I will never change" and he text me about it after class. I was shocked but it made me feel butterflies in my stomach. Which SUCKS! I am so going to just ignore this for now. Lets see what he does next :) and my friends and I were competing in our college drama competition and we got to the finals ! Alhamdulillah :') All those nights, not sleeping just to get everything done was worth it. We got to know each other even more thanks to this. I am so grateful for everything. I'll come back to blog about everything with more accuracy soon.

<2 sloth

The Gentlemen In Gray.

because I saw a guy in a gray suit today.

It started out like this. Yen and I was walking to the car and once we were in the car, we say this good looking guy in a gray suit. He had a beautiful smile. Then as we were driving I saw that he couldn't get to the lift cause the door was locked. We need a card thingy to open that door and most of us always forget to bring it with us. So I borrowed him my card. Before he went off he said thank you in mandarin. Damn! Do I look that chinese ? -_-* so I went on with my day like normal but decided to go to the clinic cause my thumb was infected. I love playing with my fingers and sometimes I pull things I just shouldnt have. Guess who I bumped into at the clinic?! THE GENTLEMEN IN GRAY! OMG! :D is it just me or is this what they calle fate? Hahahaha. We exchange looks and that's about it :'( if we are meant to be I'll see him again. InsyaAllah (:

<2 sloth

What A Day.

because sometimes unexpected things happen when you least expected it.

Not long ago I had a very weird day. I was in class with my friends then suddenly one of my classmates came to sit beside me. It was normal. We talked and I tried helping him by explaining what the teacher is teaching cause it was a subject that was mostly related to my religion so he was very lost in the topic. We were talking like normal but something was different about our conversation this time. This time, a lot of people stared in speculation. They gave me the "what's going on" face. The both of us had nothing against each other. We are just FRIENDS. But it didnt look so to other people/ Even my own friends started asking me weird questions. I guess the two of us attracted more attention then we would have wanted to. All in all, I had a great day talking to him. He is someone I would not hesitate to introduce to my friends. Dont take this post too seriously. Im just saying he is nice. Okay!? Hahahaha (:

<2 sloth

Justin Nozuka.

because I love his songs!

I am just sitting around  in this apartment while listening to Justin Nozuka's After Tonight makes me reminise about a lot of past events. It feels great to listen to this song and just smile for no good reason. Music like this should get awards for helping so many people out there. It is just inspiring isn't it? Today, foundation in Law students got kind off like a wake up call from The director. It was like a free slap. Well, now I shall eat my white chocolate in the company of fine music. Hope you strangers are happy. Have a nice day (:

<2 sloth

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

because you said something so funny I feel like peeing.

I shall not do as you said. I shall sleep now (:

<2 sloth

Outside My Window.

because I can see the moon shining brightly.

I love the feeling when you are reminded that life is beautiful.I am happy to know that as we all go through things good and bad, there is still things that never change. I am not a big fan of change to be honest but I am trying. I love sleeping in my room but somehoq it feels different in a void empty way that something important in my life is missing. I miss the good old days when it wasnt so hard to just talk and laugh together. Now it seems almost impossible. Just typing about it makes me feel like crying. I feel sorry for my best friends. They get the most random text messages from me at odd hours of the day. Just so you know, I just text all my sprrow and pain, even happiness to my closest friends and they know when I really nees them. Sometimes its just a waste of money if you have a phone and dont use it. If you dont like texting then Im sorry, cause you just dont get me anymore. Sometimes it hurts to know that all you want to say is IMY but you just dont get the point of saying it cause people just dont show that they care anymore. Day by day I find that the world is fillwd with liers and everuthing bad you can namr off, its just sad. Thank God I get to witness something as beautiful as the moon once in awhile.

<2 sloth

I Am Stressing Out.

because finals are here.

Its almost the end of the 2nd trimester and as usual we have exams for it. I am so stressed out feels like my head is going to explode :( I am so scared. Hope everything will be okay. I AM SO STRESSED OUT !

<2 sloth

I Am Getting Gooses Bumps.

because its been awhile since I felt this way.

OMG! Why are you awake! You are making me all shy and stuff. Shit! Hahahahaha. Why are you so awesome!? Evanesence?! ^___^ At least this minor infatuation is making me happy. I love your accent! SHUT UP! Hahahaha. This is what hapen when you let a period-ing person free. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okey dah.

<2 sloth.

Make-up Smeared Eyes.

because crying does that to you.

Yen is singing the song. It makes me happy and sad. I guess its just the way the song brings back so many memories. Good and bad. I am trying my best to hold myself together. I have stop to try and figure out what you are trying to say. I think its best for me to take a time out from everything. It is really not easy changing my daily routine but I guess trying too cant hurt right? The warm laptop is toasting my cramped tummy. Ahhhhhh (:

<2 sloth.

Deactivated and Deleted.

because my facebook is deactivated and my twitter is deleted.

I came to a conclusion that playing this social websites only brings more harm to me then gain. After doing so only then I saw how much time I've been wasting getting hurt over nothing, making my own assumptions on things and etc. It is kinda hard fighting my habit but then I have to do so for my own good. I guess I am going to be dropping by hear more often now. This is the only place for me to write down how I feel. At least here I wont make anyone wonder what I am talking about. Im sorry for all the unwarranted assumptions I have made through these websites. I had no attention to do so.

<2 sloth.