Jason Mraz.

because we were in the car and his song came up.

That day, when we were in the car, just the two of us, do you remember Jason Mraz's song came up. Out of all the songs, the song Lucky came on the radio and being me, I changed the song :'(  I cant lose my cool when you're not losing yours. Hahahaha. My bloody ego sucks!!

<2 sloth

Kay.

because this is what I think of it.

I love using the word Kay instead of okay but I love it more when you use the word Kay to me :) And thats about it. Hahaha :)

<2 sloth

In The Car.

because I am in the car.

Today is the first time I'm blogging in the car. Hahaha :) My parents, sister and I are on the way to Kuantan right now to our kampung for raya. My elder sister is already there. I can't wait to see her! :) This year we are going to raya in Kuantan. To be honest I still don't have the raya mood :( I don't know why. This is sad. But I know I'm going to be happy when I meet my cousins back in Kuantan. I kinda miss them. To top it all off my best friend is going to celebrate raya in Kuantan too! Yeay! :) Hahaha. It's now 1851. I guess we are going to have our Iftar on the road. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for the food that we have in the car :) It was papa's idea to go get some food at the bazaar Ramadhan. It was fun picking the food I wanted with papa and my sister. Hahahaha (: I'm hungry. Kbye.

<2 sloth

Chill.

because I should do this more.

I should chill. Make the best of what I've got. Hahahaha. Why am I so tense. What ever happens it is God's will so I have to accept that. POSITIVITY~! :)

<2 sloth

Broken Hearted Girl by Beyonce.

because I can totally relate to this song right now.                                                                                                                                 


You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love enough to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/beyonce-lyrics/broken,,hearted-girl-lyrics.html ]
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

<2 sloth

Just Dont Cross The Line.

because I have feelings too.

I am slowly getting hurt more and more. You are really public with girls huh? Dont you see me standing here all this while? I am patient. Maybe too patient. I am so scared. I never want to prove myself wrong cause right now my heart is being tested. My loyalty towards you is being tested. It seem so much easier if I just give up. So so so much easier. You dont see me breaking down. You dont see me crying. YOU DONT! It would really suck if when I start acting like you are now you'd stop doing what you're doing because by then the tables will be turned and I have no idea how much or how long would you be patient to wait for me. Would you wait? I'll never know.

<2 sloth

Hmmm.

because I just want to sit hear in peace.

I'm sitting all alone outside my house with my guitar beside me, the cold night air blow my hair, strokes my soul, keeping me calm, while the thunder in the sky, makes me stay, just to see the first raindrop fall. I love this feeling. Me. Alone. At peace with the world.

<2 sloth

Why Do I Even Bother?

because everytime I do I get disappointed.

I believe that sometimes people can change and people can start appreciating what they have but sadly they dont. It feels so good to be unappriciated. Guees Im better off alone.

<2 sloth

What Am I To Do?

because right now I dont know what to do.

Should I tell him how I feel? Should I just ignore this nagging feeling and chill? What is the right thing to do? I know that whatever I do it is going to hurt just as much. What am I to do when I miss you so but I cant do anything about it? I am just going to go see him when he comes back and that will be it for now. For now I have decided to go see him. The rest will be up to God's will. At least no matter what I know I have fun just being with him even if it is for awhile. FOREVER ALONE :)

<2 sloth

Hurt.

because sometimes you are just mean.

I keep doing this to myself and everytime I do, it hurts just as much. I guess I have always been the one on the giving end of unrequited love. It takes longer for someone to get over unrequited love then a real break-up. I've been trying to get over this unrequited love for 3 years now and it still isnt working. This sucks. If only you were reading this would you understand? Will this matter a year from now? Do you even care? It takes only one bad phone call to turn everything south. It still hurts when you talk to me with that tone of voice. I am going to retrieve to my cave for now until this wounds are healed. I wish you would just stop doing this to me and I would stop doing this to myself. Maybe one day when I am over you I'll let you read this just for fun :) Hahahaha Positivity~~~ weowewoewoewoweowoeowoweowoeowowoeowo.

<2 sloth

Curious.

because I dont get it.
                       

"friends are forever 
brothers are always together
bestfriends are with each other"

Anyone care to explain the last line?

<2 sloth

10 Things I Hate About You.

because I cant find any flaws in you actually.

Let me list down 10 things I hate about you.

1. You make me happy and sad at the same time.
2. I trust you.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

I cant come up with much, but when I figure out that is if there is any, I'll list them down for you. For now, Im still thinking.

<2 sloth

It Hurts.

because I realize that I am not over you.

It's been about three years now after my heart was broken to pieces. Dramatic huh? Well, it sure felt like it. I fell for my very awesome best friend, which I know is like so typical high school love story, cinta monyet shit. The days when my best friend and I weren't talking seem to pass by so slowly. Like searching for a needle in a hay stack. I kinda told him I liked him and everything went downhill from there. Doesn't that sucks? Well, a year after that tragic accident, he finally talked to me about it. Alhamdulillah :') I knew my best friend will never let me down. I had so much faith in him and I still do. Recently I started to realize that I might just love him more than I should as a best friend. It hurts to see the guy you love falling in love for another girl and you just have to suck it up and be there for him because that is what friends do for each other. He got hooked up with a girl from his University recently and said it was just an "open relationship". Yea. Open or closed it is still a RELATIONSHIP, may I remind you. But as usual I am trying my best to support him. The only difference is, this time I got really bothered. I was really sad and it showed especially to my sista forever hahaha :') She never fails to see whats going on with me. Yea it bothered me. When I was right about to tell him of how much I love him he pulls the trigger and tells me he is in an open relationship. IT HURTS!!!! To make matters worst, my periods is like whack. It was supposed to be here two weeks ago and its still not here. Everyone knows that the pre period stage is one of the most fragile stage of a womens emotional stability. I hate the fact that he says things that make me feel that he too feels the same way for me. Well, DREAM ON! Why would he ever like me back? He didnt three years ago and he wouldnt now. He told me a few days before he got together with the girl that he wants to tell me a secret. A secret only he and I will know. A secret about us as he described it. I've been wondering all this while on what could it be. I imagine every single possible possibility that is going to happen so then if he does something that may hurt me emotionally I'll be ready. I love him. I hate to say this but I have always loved him. My sista forever said this to me "You are now stuck in between being a dude and being a lady". I have always been the dude to him and I have always wanted him to see the lady in me. Talking to him makes my day. I can just talk for hours without realizing it. But now that he has a girl friend no matter what the status is, I will have to back off.  I told him we shouldnt be talking like this anymore and I should stop talking to him now that he has a girlfriend but he said he does not want to stop our conversations. Im screwed for life. Oh loyal heart of mine, why are you so loyal to that guy? Hmmm. As long as he is happy and I am so not kidding. Get ready for another season of pain and agony all raped up in ribbons :')

<2 sloth

I Am Back.

because I miss blogging :)

Its been awhile since I posted anything. A lot has been happening. Good, bad and everything in between :) I am going to spare you guys the details cause it is totally water under the bridge for me to even type it out anymore. Lets just say I grew a lot in this past few weeks.

<2 sloth